We all lie, presumably once a day. Be that as it may, these lies are more often for our own advantage or the advantage of others. What makes an obsessive liar so extraordinary is their propensity for reliably lying with zero individual gain which makes it even more important you understand the signs of a pathological liar.
We all lie. It is a fact. Even if you don’t think you do, you do.
You tell people everything is fine when you are having a bad day. You tell a potential boss you’re a perfectionist when really, you’re not. You tell your friend everything will be fine when they are fighting with their partner even though you have no clue what will happen.
A pathological liar’s lies do not get them a job, do not impress their peers, or even get them attention. They simply lie for the sake of lying.
Do you know a pathological liar?
You probably do and may not even know it. Their lies tend to be so pointless they can go for a long time without being caught. Their lies can also be so insignificant that if someone were to know they were lying, it wouldn’t be worth bringing it up.
As I said, we all tell fibs, omit, and lie regularly. Usually, it is for a decent reason. A pathological liar essentially has no reason except their urge to lie.
You may not even realize someone you are close to is a pathological liar until really trying to unravel their stories.
For instance, I dated a guy for six months before really putting together that he was a pathological liar. When we first met, he told me he may be moving across the country to be on a new version of Laguna Beach. Once we started dating I never heard about it again.
Throughout our courtship, I picked up on numerous other lies that seemed out of place. He would tell me he had planned these extravagant dates that never panned out. He would claim that he met celebrities that he clearly did not.
I overlooked it for a long time, thinking it was harmless. But before the end, he tried to convince me that he had cancer which was not true. That was the last straw for me.
So, why did I share this bizarre story with you? Well, because the signs of a pathological liar are more obvious than you think. We ignore them because they don’t always cause problems, but that in itself is a problem.
These lies may not define your relationship or have any benefit or even a burden, but they illustrate a pattern of dishonesty. If this person feels the need to lie about something completely irrelevant, what is to say they won’t lie about something meaningful?
The 10 signs of a pathological liarYou would think spotting a pathological liar would be hard, but in fact, with a bit of focused observation, it is easier than you would think. You just have to know what you’re looking for. #10 is so obvious
#1 They humble-brag. Ahhh, the humble-brag. One of the signs of a pathological liar is bragging. This person wants to show-off everything they can think of. But, because they are a skilled liar, they won’t always do it in the most abrupt way.
They will have mastered the art of the humble-brag. This means they will try to get away with bragging by adding a touch of modesty to the statement. For instance, they might say they are so embarrassed at something they did while somewhere very glamorous or posh.
#2 They have a lack of guilt. When the average person lies they tend to have a least some sort of guilt about it. Whether you feel bad about fibbing on your resume or telling your best friend you did not hook up with your worthless ex again, you feel uncomfortable about it.
A pathological liar will thrive on a lie. Instead of squirming or feeling like they have duped someone, they show and feel zero empathy or guilt for their deceiving actions.