Relationship Women

10 Things No One Tells You About The Way Cheaters Think

3. They Feel Hopeless

Sometimes, cheating is not the behavior of someone who is angry, but somebody who is feeling out-of-control, or in despair.

“People cheat out of hopelessness,” Dr. Klapow says. “In some cases, the person feels there is nothing left. They have given up, but they don’t want to put an end to the relationship often for logistic reasons (money, kids, lifestyle).” In these cases, the person they’re cheating with can feel like a point of comfort and security when everything else feels out of control.

4. They See Cheating As A Last-Ditch Effort

Sometimes, a person who cheats sees their behavior as a piece of a puzzle to save their relationship. They may think that cheating will be what keeps things together.

“People cheat to keep the relationship together,” Dr. Klapow says, ” They like things about the relationship; they love things about their partner (e.g. they are responsible, trustworthy, good providers, nurturing) but there are other aspects that are not there. The person doesn’t want to leave but doesn’t know how to pull these other qualities out.” It’s not sustainable, but it is a thought pattern that can justify infidelity.

5. S3x May Just Be Part Of The Equation

Another way a cheater might see infidelity as a means to fix a relationship is if they begin looking for s3xual gratification outside their relationship.

“For some, cheating is about getting s3x that is not in the relationship,” Dr. Klapow says. “It may be the type of s3x, the style of s3x, the frequency of s3x or the feeling of s3x. It may be to address arousal that is not being met in the relationship. It can be physical and purely physical.” This kind of single-reason cheating is rare, however, and most people are also dealing with relationship conflict of some sort. Moreover, for non-monogamous relationships, this sort of exploration makes sense. Sometimes, people need more than one person can give them. But for infidelity, this behavior is going to hurt people in the long-run.

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