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Relationship

15 Ways to Spot Selfish People and Stop Them from Hurting You

What makes a person selfish?

A selfish individual is one who thinks about their own needs, regardless of whether it makes torment to another person. They have no thought for any other person and stress just over their own comfort. Selfish individuals are respectful and decent to everybody, except they’re pleasant just as long as they receive something increasingly back consequently from the people around them.

The irony of it all is that a selfish person wouldn’t even know they’re being selfish. They’d just assume they’re nice people who care about their own happiness more than anything else. But in the pursuit of their own happiness, they carelessly and intentionally walk all over the shattered hearts of any loving person around them.

One of the easiest ways to recognize a selfish partner or a friend is their trait of always extracting more from you, and yet, they never give anything back to you in equal measures.

Selfish people aren’t selfish with everyone

Selfish people subconsciously pick and choose the people they would want to use and trample on. They don’t go looking for people to hurt. But just like a wild animal’s inner instincts, if they come face to face with a caring and emotional person that they see as prey, they use them and abuse them until the relationship eventually falls apart or they find someone better to prey on.

If you come across as intimidating or emotionally closed off to a selfish person, they’d never ever dream of using you. Instead, they’d suck up to you and try to win your affection.

Selfish people are people pleasers, and appear needy and vulnerable, to begin with. They’d pamper you, care for you and love you until you drop your guard down and welcome them into your life and give them your whole heart. And once they have their hooks dug deep in your heart is when you’d start to notice a difference in their behavior.

The mind of selfish people

A relationship is an exchange of emotions. In every successful relationship, both partners give and take from each other in equal measures without keeping count. And everything’s just perfect.

But when one partner stops giving back to the relationship, the relationship starts to fail.

When you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, they would continue to extract your love and your affections. But they’d stop giving any love or affection back in return which would leave you feeling weak, unappreciated and miserable.

So why did you fall prey to this selfish person?

In a perfectly happy relationship between friends or lovers, both the involved people consider each other as equals. But when a selfish partner or friend starts to believe that they’re more important than the other partner in the relationship, they’d convince themselves that their partner needs them more than they need their partner.

It is very important that you understand this fundamental idea, because this is the foundation of all selfishness. If your friend or lover believes they don’t really need you but you need them a lot, that’s when they expect you to do all the giving, while they extract everything you can give.

A selfish person will behave selfishly around you only when they truly believe that you need them more.

Selfish people are skilled manipulators by instinct. If you’re being used by a selfish friend who sees you as an emotionally weak target, you may even find yourself confused and lost. You may wonder why you’re the only one feeling miserable around this selfish person while everyone else thinks so highly of them. But that’s only because you lovingly handed over the strings to control you like a puppet to them.

Dealing with the hurt and the pain

When you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, no matter what you do, they’d constantly make you feel like you aren’t giving enough back to them. Even the love you have for this person would feel one sided and painful, because none of your feelings would be reciprocated.

A relationship with a selfish person would make you feel like you’re living through a heartbreak every day. No matter what you do, they’d still pick flaws with you or overlook your nice side. And even your nicest friendly or romantic gestures would be treated as ordinary and nothing spectacular.

And while you try to please them by bending over backward, their expectations from you would constantly increase all the time. Their lack of appreciation for the things you do for them too would be apparent. And before you know it, you’d be hurt all the time and craving for the smallest sign of appreciation from this selfish person just to feel noticed or feel like you’re doing something right.

10 signs to recognize a selfish person

It doesn’t matter if you’re dating a selfish person or best friends with one. The signs to recognize a selfish person are almost always the same. Use these 10 signs and ask yourself if that special someone is nothing but a selfish and bad person.

#1 A selfish person is excessively friendly and will go out of their way to be nice to you, though only at the beginning of the relationship.

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